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09:29 am: there is no news worth knowing from my little world here. i have sunk into a life so routine-filled that what gets me through the day is the knowledge that it will end soon.

i'm not completely depressed, but happy that urumqi and all of its evils are awaiting me. happy that i will return to a life of different frustrations and fewer monotonies.

here in los angeles i walk on water and have repeatedly been offered attractive packages for staying and every time empty promises that i will "think about it" fall out of my mouth, smile and all. i am a pensive person but the thinking never takes me more than a few minutes, every time returning to the conclusion that unless losing my mind is in the itinerary, staying is impossible.

i'm not ready to sentence myself to that kind of death. the death of 9-5, the death of business casual, the death of a promising career path, vaulting from beige-carpeted cubicle to beige-carpeted cubicle, each more prestigious than the last.

i'll continue counting my pennies in never-never land.

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From:[info]celesteh
Date:February 7th, 2007 04:58 pm (UTC)
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I'd hate for you to go insane. Have you thought about academia? It's an entirely different kind of hell - one which involves no gray cubicles.

It's the only realistic option that I see for myself, at least.
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From:[info]tifanjo
Date:February 9th, 2007 05:17 pm (UTC)
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Academia, you say? I am a student, you know. That's what I do in Xinjiang.

And I would be happy to continue studying with no forays into cubicle-land, but then I would have no money for tuition. So, there you have it.
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From:[info]celesteh
Date:February 10th, 2007 12:06 am (UTC)
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If you study enough, after a while they ask you to start teaching. Then instead of you paying them, they pay you. Or so I've been given to believe.

Your career in the university system could occur on any one of several continents. ;)
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From:[info]siren_leaf
Date:February 11th, 2007 06:09 am (UTC)

another one in China

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Hi,
I hope you don't mind me reading your jounrnal- it was introduced to me by a friend of a friend of yours I think. (Kate Mitchell). she and I taught English together in Zhenjiang, Jiangsu province, and now I am in Beijing, working and studying Chinese. I am really interested in your life in Xinjiang and also really like your writing. I also would be interested in discussing with you about your choice to stay in China as it is something I am constantly mulling over. Well, you are welcome to check out my livejournal, though I have not written in it in over a year, I think. you can also email me at goldsiv@gmail.com. oh, my name is Ivy.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:March 9th, 2007 05:02 pm (UTC)

hey

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Don't knock the death by corporatized routine, it has its upsides.

I always know where I have to be, and when. And why. Provided I don't pry too hard at the whys, I'm in good shape.

Likewise, you can always reverse the chain of dominos and go to continuously less and less prestigious jobs. Somewhere in my future, I see a gas pump. Or a Fry-O-Later...

Or English teacher, har har har...
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