tifanjo

06:57 pm: 如果天上有星星
it's been an action-packed several days since i last posted.

there was a difficult, tearful, and most likely final parting with the kazakh guy i've been seeing off and on for the last two years. he showed up on my birthday with a beautiful bouquet of 27 roses; i threw them out today, not waiting for them to wilt away entirely. i'd rather get rid of that flagrant reminder of him, of all his good intentions he was throwing away on me.

i had a get-together at my house on friday, at exactly the right time - i had just pulled myself together from me and zhanati's parting, and had just barely recovered from a strange illness that left me unable to put anything solid in my body for days.

it was mostly successful, i think, although i did pull together a number of people who didn't know anyone else, leaving a few conversational stragglers struggling with language barriers and my inability to talk to everyone at once. it was the first time i'd had any number of guests in my home. i've done almost no hosting since moving into this apartment, even though it's rather nice for it.

yesterday, i attended two weddings: one chinese, one kazakh.

the first was for my former student from last year's private school. it was the first time i had been to a han chinese wedding and had time to stay for the whole thing.

the second wedding was my friend bahar's; just a couple months ago, she had been expressing doubt about the wiseness of getting married, as her now-husband is in the army and stationed in another city in xinjiang that is an overnight bus ride from urumqi. on the evening of my birthday party, i received a phone call from her: "i'm sorry i can't make it to your party tonight; i'm getting married tomorrow. please come to my wedding."

at both kazakh and chinese weddings, guests are not expected to give gifts, but cash. when you walk in and greet the family (kazakh) or the couple (chinese), the next stop is a registration table where you record your name and the amount you have given. when you or your child get married, the same amount is expected to be returned to you.

the traditional forms of both weddings include paying respect to both sets of parents, although i was a little surprised to see it omitted from bahar's wedding. in a kazakh wedding i attended a couple months ago, the couple stood in front of the parents while a man sang a very long song about what they should and shouldn't do, while the couple bowed repeatedly to the parents. this is the tradition, but i suppose it's a given that it's dying out in the city.

both brides wore a white western-style wedding dress as well, which is also quite common. however, at most modern chinese weddings, the bride changes into a traditional qipao for the reception.

the kazakh wedding was, hands down, the better of the two. there was less talking, more dancing. the chinese wedding ceremony was chock full of leaders giving speeches, whereas the kazakh ceremony was quite perfunctory. everyone quickly moved onto eating and dancing and congratulating.

david and i were sitting at a table of middle-aged to old kazakh men. for a good long while, david and i spoke to each other while the kazakhs chatted amongst themselves, not really sure what to say to the foreigners, or in what language. i got my big chance to practice my kazakh while politely refusing alcohol. word got around the table quickly that i knew some kazakh, and before i knew it i got lots of chances to make small talk, had food forced on me, multiple toasts (i stuck to tea), dinner invitations, and requests to dance.

in spite of the good times, i cut out early and returned home to find that the water in my house was still not on; it had been off since that morning. today's the second full day with no water, and i've found that my neighbors have also disappeared. i presume they're staying with relatives for the time being. there's nothing to do but wait, shower elsewhere, and cart water home for everything else.